(this is gonna be a very very very long post...)
jus came back from pl... my previous work place... its been so long since i went there... a place where good and bad memories are kept... a cosy place for people to chill out.. to relac... but because of sch work and the people there tt make me reluctant to go there.. but today is handric's last day and its darren's birthday.. so i went down to have fun.. but saturday nite is always troublemsome.. loads of problems fights quarrels and stuffs.. the bookie nv change.. still showin 1/2 ball per side which add up to 1 ball... her attitude is still the same... jus that new rules are implied.. no drink under 18.. haha.. shuld haf been tt way all along.. wateva.. saw mimi aunty.. one of the customer tt i realli like.. i love her company the jokes and the fun with her family.. handric's wife and little gal came too she is jus so cute.. haha.. a fren of her's came along.. rul.. nice name which suits an equally nice lady.. fun loving and outgoing...as usual i drink quite alot.. but not drunk nor high so dun worry(tt is if any is la..) had a great chat with mimi aunty.. to be frank.. i actually learned alot from her and handric.. the way to treat customer no matter wat happened.. the way to respect each individual.. do onto others wat u want them to do to you.. hmm.. mimi told me alot today.. or rather scold me in a clam and nice manner.. she did mention wat jb told me the other dae bout the garry stuffs... thinking back... i was realli too foolish to have siad those words out.. spoiling my image and most importantly making jb lose face.. i dun understand wat has made me said all those words out tt nite.. bcoz of garrys' arragon attitude or jus bcoz i am lyk tt.. i realli wonder wats wrong with me.. why i oways treat jb lyk tt.. its not tt i dun respect her.. its jus tt... i dunoe... i am jus foolish.. if not becoz of tt sickening attitude of mine.. i guess there shuld realli be a chance btween us.. and i wouldnt be so very sad everytime i see her with sumone new.. bing.. u betta treat her well.. she is one good gf.. altot she dun seems lyk one to mani.. but she is..
jb... i noe u noe that i dun mean it the other nite... i was jus joking.. but jokin with suck stuffs realli deserve a slap from you.. i can understand why emmeline hate it so much when she sees me with you.. coz of the way i tok to you.. we are frank to each other but i sumtimes over do it... or rather always... i say the wrong things do the wrong things at the wrong time.. i realli realli sorry about what happened the night.. altot we are still close frends but i noe it did leave a great impact on u.. to those who was present that night.. i am realli sorry.. i dunoe wat has gone tru me to have said that out.. to mimi aunty.. thankz for waking me up.. i took such a long time to understand how she felt that night.. when u said those words to me... i could somehow recall what happened the other night and how jb felt the very moment... i am ashame of what i did.. argh!!! i wish i could go back time and stop myself from sayin those words out.. it jus suck! it leave such a big impact on both of us.. ppl are lookin at me with different color spects now.. and i dunoe hw to face u anymore.. to think tt i stil have to cheek to ask u out to solve everything.. to appologise and to make ammendments... omfg.. i jus suck man... jj's endless road is wat i am feelin now.. it jus played.. how 巧.. hur.. i dunoe wat else to say ler... actualli i was quite made at the person who told aunty mimi.. she doesnt need to go ard telling people what happened that nite.. still thinking tt she was a great fren of us both.. and wat she did.. making me lose face and makin her malu... kao.. wat a fren, a cousin.. hur hur.. aunty mimi is always the one that wake me up.. i am realli happy that fate brought us together... tur her i learnt alot.. alot that i once tot was silly.. was nothing.. things that are in-significant.. treat gals with respect.. respect them for who they are.. show who u realli are... no matter how stone hearted a gal is.. with sincerity and the prove that you realli love her.. you will win her heart over no matter how bad she has said about you.. for this, i am a living example.. giving out your true heart to people.. they will treat you the way you would want them to.. knowing when to have fun and when to be serious with them.. know when things/word can be done/said and when things/words are not suppose to be done/said... understandin the consequence of each and every action.. knowing the limits of things.. knowing when to stop.. show that you care for them.. let them feel it.. let them know you care.. let them understand that their well-being is your concern.. let them know you are there for them.. to teach to listen to give advise.. there is still alot of things running thru my head now.. but i do not know how to para-phrase them and type it down.. my leg is hurting again.. the swell is cumin again.. tot its still bearable... it time i shuld really stop the hactic living and pause for a while.. stop all the wildfullness, all the lousy attitude, all the stubbon-ness, all the bad things in me.. for this once i am going to change for good.. i have said this countless times.. but hw mani times did it actually last for long? for good? i am sick of myself not to say people sick of me... i dun even understand myself hw can people know how i am really like? i am harsh to people.. giving faces as and when i like.. treatin people as and how i feel.. i am a sucker.. a bastared.. as asshole.. idiotic fellow.. i am bad.. BUT this all is going to be the past.. the bad momories.. i am gonna start anew start afresh.. a new begining for me.. for all those around me.. you will see the change in me.. i asure you.. u will.. wish me luck..
oh ya... Angela 大铃 aka darling... happy birthday.. sweet 17.. hope you like the test-tube i gaf you.. take care ya... and all the best.. huggies..

junwei off to think again... 5,40am.. i actually took almost an hour to type all this....