this is the attitude me.. i have always been treating you so badly.. so bad that you have got all numb.. so bad that any slighest mistake would be the end of me... and i haf done it.. i made the biggest of all.. ka boomm.. its over.. never in my life will i ever be as close to you as ever.. sianz.. i jus got the feel if that didnt happen mayb.. mayb i stand a tiny whiny chance of getting even closer.. but now... it all venished.. like water on the hot pan.. at one point you hear them at the other u dun even see any tiny drop left.. ARH!! slam forehead on table.. sucks man... hate it.. why am i oways so foolish.. why cant i control my feelings.. why am i oways so harsh towards you.. 1st its the gary thing.. den now its this.. WTF is with me man.. i hate myself seriously.. why cant i jus change for the better... i'm oways not controling my feeling.. doin what i want as and when i like.. arh!! i said i change. my ars.. not even a tiny whiny bit.. mayb the 1st few days i realli did.. i tried to keep my cool to be nice.. but after sometime i find it all so silly.. why do i have to smile to people who dun like me..? they can act as if there is nothing goin on but i cant.. i'm not that heartless in that sense... bao.. i think i dun suit to be a fren of urs.. i'm bring you more bad memories den the good ones.. i dun know if you would ever read this.. but i am posting it everywhere i think its possible that you will.. to let you know how i felt.. to let you know i am a sucker.. altot u alrdy know.. i am silly enuf to wish and hope that you would forgive me.. to think that i will change.. haha.. slap face.. sianz.. i'm tired.. i wan sumting out of this.. but i noe its impossible.. but why do i still carry on? is this true love? a true one sided love? haha... play boy.. a better status than being so zuan yi which only result in being hurt in the end.. i can be realli good but i can also be realli bad.. but the bad memories haf a greater impact than the good ones.. my mood change are so fast that its so hard to catch up wib.. i believe you are also sick and tired of me.. now that i have force you to say what u dun want to.. i am realli a lousy guy.. so lousy that never in my life i will find sumone who will even like me.. not to say be with me.. hiaz.. i am such a failiure... why can i persist in changing to be a better man.. why is it oways so short? i haf to change.. i have to.. i am determin tis time round.. realli.. i need to.. its either i change or i will never ever get you back.. so i will.. even if its gonna be a sucky experience i will.. i will prove to you i can be a better man.. on 25 sept u will see a different junwei.. a different person.. nt a sweet guy but a guy who will be a promising caring and understandin person.. who will most importantly control his temper and show it only at the right time.. i am asking for one last chance.. to prove i will bring you happiness.. and be the guy for u.. i will create the chemistry that was once present.. if there was once.. den i will make it happen again... trust me.. i will change..