I really want to spend more QT with jiejie, someone, darlyns, and some other good friends.
this sentence was taken off someone's blog..
there are times when everyone needs confirmation, security and feel being love

this very good friend of mine ask.. okie la.. acutally we didnt noe each other for long.. just a short 2 month..
she :" how are you two?"
Me:"huh? i guess ting will turn out good.. am wrking very hard for it"
she: " why u sound so solemn"
Me: " i oso duno lei.. she oso dun see hw much effort i put in to be who i want to.."
she: "hey somethings we dun need to show how much we feel to feel"
Me: " ya i noe..guess what.. someone who doesnt evn haf 5 minutes for me.. happily tells me that she got a 3rd job.."
she: " Wat.. how come.. she need $$ urgently?"
Me: "no la.. hmm. i duno hw to tell u also.."
she: " hmm okie.. "
Me: " she dun even know what i am feeling la.. how super sian i was to hear that.. she didnt even realise"
she : " iyah like u say.. mayb she is really tired after the whole day..."
Me: "mayb lo.. but.. haiz.. can u imagine how i felt? i duno hw to say wat i feel la.. its like.. haiz.. i duno hw to tell u also la.. sometimes i really think i shuld just give her all i have and she would be so happy liao.."
She: "dun tink this way la.."
me: " i duno.. its like everyting else i mre impt than me.. sometimes i just find it so hard to tell her wat i feel.. sometimes i just feel so lonely.."
me: " i really need someone i can just sit down and talk to.. blurt everything out and tts enuf.. tt person dun even need to talk or say anything"
she: " u can call me if u want"
me: " i appreciate ur offer.. but.. the person whome i REALLY want to talk to is oways not free.. not even free to talk for long.. not tt i am solemn or saddist.. but.. haiz.. i duno lei.. i really got no motivation liao.. tml paper sure die like dun wat.. can pass i chop ar.."
she: " dun let trivial matter affect ur studies la.."
me: " iyah i duno la.. sucks to be me la.."
she: "are u happy in ur relationship?"
me: "yes i am..but at the same time i am not happy.."
she: "Why get into a relationship that u are not happy.."
me: " its not wat u mean la... i mean i am happy to be in the relationship.. but those trivial matter sometimes just pushes me too near the edge.. i am very scared already...tired and scared"

there is still a very very long conv.. haiz.. if u can know how i felt wen u say that to me.. u want to know? bang ur head one the wall and use a 5 ton stone drop down from your window.. tts how i felt... or if u still cant visualise... stand infront of an incoming bus.. haiz.. i got nth more to say liao... i dun want to be like this... haiz...