lately i have been thinking alot..
someone like me living in such high intensity of stress level really will take my sianty away
i think i need to really relax and not be bothered by anyone else..

i may look happy smiling and joking..
but deep inside.. how many actually understands what i am thinking?
actually really care for what i feel..
actually i dun even need everyone to understand..
but its wen someone doesnt it hurts me the most..
i told myself umpteen times i shall not be anybit bothered by what they say..
but the real fact is i cant..
it just comes to me naturally..
i think i am starting to get sick..
not tt i lost the feeling..
but its a feeling no word can describe..
i am just tired already..

any other person can ask u out as and wen..
but me..
even for a short 5minutes..
it seems so hard to see u..
and the smallest thing Wg ppl say/ask u pisses u off..

i dun show i am jealous doesnt mean i am not..
i just feel freedom is needed..
thus u shuld haf ur guys friends..
i dun expect anyting in return..
haiz..
forget it.. guess i shuld not get bothered alrdy..
next time i will only say things once..
back to my old self..
either u catch it or u dun...
i will onli ask u once..
i wont plead or beg u..

semester is ending..
all projects meeting deadlines..
haiz.. hate it man.. HATE IT..
I WISH THE BUS COULD HAVE BANG ME INSTEAD!!
or die of burst lungs is oso not a bad idea..
SADDIST.. yes i am.. stay far away from me...

FUCK TO ALL WHO HAS BADMOUTHED ME
make sure i duno who u are..
or ur fate will be worse then melcom..
u wont just go into the ambulance and come out laughing..
i make sure u stay in there till u suffer to ur last breath..
u can run but u cant hide...