Okie.. OSIP(overseas student internship program)

Destination: China Beijing
Duration: 6months starting April
Air tickets: $1000(School)
Lodging: SSIC provide( But need to pay utilities WTF man)
Expenses: around $3k
Job Scope: Web page Designing, SQL database maintenance and forum maintenance.
Salary: Nil ($600/month from IDA after return adds up to about $3600)

Benefits:

• Real working experience.
• Exposure to china society.
• Prospect for future.
• more to come for sure.
  

Trade Offs:

• i am so afraid i would see u holding his hand wen i return......
• Families and Friends.
• Things i will miss out over here.
  
• Cost. No salary some more.
• more to come for sure.
  

frankly speaking.. so many tings are running through my head..
i dun deny yes it really happy to hear that i can go OSIP..
but come to think of it.. 6 months.. it neither that long nor is it short..
yes it does mean i will haf better job prospect.opportunity..
at the same time it will also definitely Change me..
to be ready for the working society...
BUT taking into consideration...
the fun that i will miss..
The bittersweet longing on You.
The condition of being homesick.
the relationships that would drift apart...
the fact tt i cant earn my $2600 during the holidays..
the stone hard fact tt i will be there ALONE for 6months working like some crazy bulldog..
(i never like being alone.. although solitude is nice..to a certain little extend..not 6 months)

WHO CAN HELP ME!!! urgh! i know.. i know.. this is my life i have to decide for myself..To weight the priorities and think of what i'll miss and gain....
do you know that the 1st thing that came to my mind when i was told i am given the opportunity to go for OSIP is YOU!! YOU and nothing else...
Not the cost...Not the fun i'll miss...Not the prospect i will leave for others..
but YOU.. i know.. my decision today may change my path.. whether its a loss of gain..
i really couldn't decide.. you know your words makes so much impact on me...
but at the same time i know u dont want to give me false hope again..
dont wanna be indebt with me.. just some wishful thinking on my part..haiz...

IF a miracle would happen.. to let me know whats path out for me..
to enlighten me on what i should do...
Jeremy Zhong u suck.. although u are right... but u still suck... it aint helping at all..
she is someone of top priority now.. and telling me all your nonsensical logic doesn't help at all..
maybe one point is worth considering... drop the idea FOR NOW and study for wireless... HAIZ...SAVE ME!!!!
WIRELESS HERE I COME.. for now.. u are my top priority..