i've lost.. totally lost.. the power and control over myself...
totally let my emotions controlled what i say..
maybe like what others like to say.. "Its GOD's will"
i totally lost the skill to pause before i react...
to understand she's just trying to share with me her joy..
to know that she sum what might still care..

i've lost the battle of this relationship once again...
defeated...
where do i stand..

Music heritage tonight...
long long time since i've met those whosgoing pals..
alrite shuldnt classify them as that anymore since most of them aint inside already..
so.. hmm yea.. other then the drinking and smoking they are still great pals..
ppl whom i could relate to.. laugh with play with and monkey around with...
but why deep in my heart they not the one whom i want to play and laugh with??
OH WELL!!! going for C&C3...

MP final phase.. flash lectures.. haha.. easy? difficult? challenging?
nothing beats what i am going through every night after we hang up over a not so peaceful way..